Family Photo Shoot

One of the things I wanted for my 30th birthday was family photos taken. A friend of mine does photography & is fabulous so we finally got in with her (did I mention she was fabulous?!) You all know that a semi-pro photographer is what I want to be when I grow up- or my babies do a bit, for that matter, so I had researched my little heart out for poses & outfits & such leading up to it.

I was so pleasantly surprised due to the fact that little Miss Annsley was loving the wide open space & wanted nothing to do with posing for pictures (unless of course, we didn't want her in the shot) Ahh, the twos are beginning all ready... Anyways, here are a few of my faves!

Peace over understanding

God says he'll give us peace that surpasses (beats, exceeds, overrides, eclipses) understanding. So why does it seem that most of us (or maybe just me), at least initially, beg for understanding when trials come our way? Instead of trying aggressively to decipher how whatever is happening (or threatening to happen) fits into or affects our plans, we should be asking for peace. This peace (calm, serenity, quitetude, stillness) is what will benefit us much more than understanding because it will enable us to continue to focus outwardly on loving others despite the turbulance all around us. Seeking understanding forces us to focus inwardly as we wrestle with self-preservation. So my prayer for me and all of you this week, especially in light of last weekend's events, is that we learn to seek peace immediately and continuously and avoid that crippling quest for "Why?". Have a blessed week!

Welcome back

Time to start blogging again. My year and a half sabbatical is over. Since I blogged last, we've moved to North Carolina, had two more kids, I've changed jobs three times, got selected for Major, started teaching a Sunday School small group, turned 32 and 33, yada, yada, yada...

So, needless to say, I've grown a lot just by virtue of the experiences and changes we've gone through. I will tell you this. God is so much bigger than I thought! His plans are infinitely larger than what my mind can conceive, and his ability to bring those plans to fruition is infinitely stronger than my faith can perceive. His plans are life-long, not just limited to each individual circumstance that I face, even though I try to limit Him to one crisis at a time, as if He is surprised at what is going on in my life.

Also, I've learned that, while my attitude can't inhibit what God is doing in my life, it can definitely: a) hinder my ability to enjoy my life and experience His peace, and b) hamper the leadership that I exude with my family, at work, and as a Sunday School teacher. And, my attitude is completely up to me! I control if I only see the bad or inconvenience in every situation. God only intends experiences for my good (not necessarily my immediate emotional happiness, which is where I get hung up), but I can, by choice, take everything as a punishment or withholding of some sort on His part. Thus, I wear a look that says I just ate some sour grapes.

It's all about perspective. Do I let myself believe the age-old lie that God is conning me and that this experience/possession/achievement is really all that I need to be happy? Or, unlike Eve and Adam, do I tell the devil to take a hake and trust that the Almighty Creator, my Father, has only good intentions for me. It's really not that far of a stretch if you think about it. After all, I'm a dad and I would never, ever do anything to my kids that wasn't for their growth and benefit. And, as imperfect as I am, if I am that way, how much better at it is God? Also, I'm created in the image of God, bearing the Spirit of God, and my tendencies are to bless my children and look out for them (feed, clothe, protect, nurture, educate, LOVE, etc.). Wouldn't those be His tendencies and concerns for His children? Just connecting the dots people...

So, anyway, that's what I've learned over the silent months. I just had some stuff to sort out, you know? Well, I'm glad to be back. I hope you enjoy my ramblings. Please offer your comments, thoughts, points of view, etc. I'd love to learn from you!

"Storms are not an option, but fear is."

Here's a quote for the Max Lucado book "Fearless." I really, really need that book!

This speaks to my heart. I am totally afraid that I won't be able to handle what Storms may come with the Marine Corps. I am afraid and it's clouding my judgment about the reality of the civilian side. I'm not saying it's bad out there, but it's not perfect either and it's not the key to happiness. My attitude and demeanor are. Read this quote from C.S. Lewis.

"Faith...is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods. For moods will change, whatever view your reason takes. I know that by experience. Now that I am a Christian I do have moods in which the whole thing looks very improbable: but when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable...That is why Faith is such a necessary virtue: unless you teach your moods "where they get off," you can never be either a sound Christian or even a sound atheist, but just a creature dithering to and fro, with its beliefs really dependent on the weather and the state of its digestion."

That is so me. I need to make a decision. The decision is not whether or not to stay in the Marine Corps. It is to stop being afraid of what might or might not happen, and trust in Jesus to be there, through the storms. "He who tries to save his life will lose it, but he who loses his life for My sake will find it." Matt 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, John 12:25

I think by trying to get out of the Marine Corps, in my mind, I'm scheming for a way to "save" my life and avoid what I see as unnecessary burdens that detract from what I want and (think that) I need. But, what do I know? God is the only one who knows what "burdens" are necessary to make me the man He wants me to be and the man that my family needs me to be. I can't let fear be the cornerstone in my decision making process. Whether it be fear of failure, burden, or even fear of death. I have to trust that God is in control ultimately and that every storm that I encounter, even the one that will eventually result in my death (even if that "storm" is dying of old age in a nursing home surrounded by my loved ones) is at His command and not simply something I could have avoided if I'd listened to my fear.

Fear is smart. It is conniving. It knows just how to formulate an argument that sounds like the right think to do. It might even appear like godly advice. But, if at the root of the argument, my eyes are on me and not Christ, then the argument holds no water. That is how you can tell if your "advice" is coming from fear of the Holy Spirit. I need to just ask myself, "Who am I concerned about when making this plan? Me or Christ?"

That is a tough question to ask myself. Because, even now, fear is screaming, "Think
of yourself. There's no telling where God will take you if you completely
surrender to Him. God wants you to worry about taking care of yourself and
not do anything that sounds uncomfortable."

Wow! Fear's voice sounds a lot like mine in my head and is disguised as truth, but is actually dripping with selfishness, influenced heavily by modern culture that says, "I before everything."

Even after typing all of this out, I'm still scared to commit. I can't see into the future and I don't want to close any doors that offer possible retreat if it gets too hot. I'm lukewarm, afraid of making a decision in either direction. Unfortunately for me, a lukewarm person is the one thing God chooses to "spit out of His mouth in disgust."

So, conclusion? I'm basing my desire to get out of the Marine Corps on fear and disdain for the unnecessary burdens; basically with "me" in mind. Based on the above dissertation, I'd have to say I need to chose the Marine Corps and trust that Christ is in control and that if He wants me to get out, then He can get me out. I need to worry about controlling my attitude because that is the only thing in this life I can control.

Thanks for listening.

Today's Post

Philippians 3:8-10
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider these rubbish, that I might gain Christ and be found in Him...I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."

I realized that, as I read these verses last night, I can't say that I agree wholeheartedly with Paul. I wish that I could. I desperately want to be able to say that I consider all the worldly possessions and endeavors that I find myself pursuing to be worthless. I wish that I found more enjoyment out of reading the bible and memorizing scripture than I do playing video games and watching TV. I wish that when I was frustrated or upset I wanted to run to the bible and prayer rather than go buy something. But, if we're being honest here, I can't say that. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't understand the magnitude of what Jesus did when He died on that cross and then was resurrected. Maybe I just don't realize how intimately He wants to be involved in my life and how much He wants to show me if only I'd spend my time watching for Him and in fellowship with Him. Maybe I don't have enough faith. After all, whoever wants to please God must have faith, believing that when they come to Him, He hears and answers their prayers.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I think I was just stunned by what I didn't know about myself. I mean, there are things that I think are true about me. I have heard this verse before and assumed I believed it. But, after some introspection, I realized that I didn't take it too heart like I should. This is a pretty serious passage with some huge implications. I mean, think about it. Everything we acquire and accomplish is meaningless compared to what we're missing out on if we're not doing it in and through our relationship with Christ. Basically, if it meant that quitting my job, selling everything I own, and becoming a nomadic wanderer was the only way to get closer to Christ, then that's what I'd do. I think Paul meant it that way. Luckily, God doesn't call us to be destitute. He calls us to seek Him above anything else and let Him take care of all the things we so desperately crave.

This passage makes me wonder what else I'm getting wrong. My prayer is that you too would take some time and do some soul searching as you read through the scripture, just to make sure you actually do believe what you profess. If you're as surprised by what you find as I was, then stop right there and pray that the Holy Spirit would show you what you need to do about it.

God bless you all!

This is a poem that the Holy Spirit laid on my heart this morning. I just started typing and in about 15 minutes, there it was. Amazing that He would inspire me like that.

There’s a baby with a heartbeat
There’s a little life inside
It’s not a political agenda
It’s not about women’s rights

Not an accident; no mistake
Not a horrid source of shame
It’s a miracle and a blessing
The greatest gift you can claim

Look at the picture on that black and white display
Listen to the heart beat, the rhythm that it makes

How can you deny that the baby is alive?
Is it just because you can’t hear it cry?
Or is it because you have no room in your life?
Are you too afraid to try?

Does it ease your guilt to say it’s not alive?
Does it make it easier to go to sleep at night?
Do you ever catch yourself wondering if she’d have your eyes?
Or if he’d have his father’s laugh, maybe your mother’s smile?

Does the echo from the empty womb haunt you now and then?
Reminding you of how ultimately selfish that you’d been.
You let society convince you that you could have it all.
And that this little nuisance would only cause you to fall

You lived your life for pleasure, aware of the risks,
And now you act as though you didn’t ask for this.
Slept around as if love was something you could earn
Now you’re with child and that guy is long since gone

You don’t need this, or want this, and so the lie is spun.
You’ve got too much ahead of you to have a daughter or son.
The feminist will tell you it’s a pest, a parasite
Until it’s born into this world, it’s not really alive

But the voice of the one who formed the child inside of you
Is crying out to hold on and listen to the truth
‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew your name.
Before you were born my plans for you had all been laid.”

So calm your heart and hear my still small voice
It’s not late to turn around and make a different choice.
Remember, you’re only here today because your mom’s faith
Gave her the courage to make the choice you’re too afraid to make.

Thoughts on worship

So, I know it's been a long time since I blogged. I just haven't made the time. I could sit here and type out a bunch of excuses about how busy I've been with work, travel, or the kids, but that'd be a lie. The truth is, I haven't made the time. Instead of devoting myself to honing my God-given talent, I have devoted myself to my own entertainment. I spend my evenings watching TV shows that I really don't like and that don't offer any edification to me and my soul. The only saving grace is that I'm usually cuddled up next to Sarah on the couch while watching the brain-melting shows. On the weekends when the family is napping, I play video games instead of letting lose the thoughts swirling around in my head and nawing away at my heart.

I think this is because it is easier to just sit and be entertained. It doesn't take energy and it doesn't take submission to the Holy Spirit. There's no gamble in playing video games, other than my bruised ego when the computer cheats--which it often does--and beats me. But, I don't have to worry about hurting feelings or writing something that doesn't stir up the same emotions in the hearts of those that journey into the recesses of my mind. I don't have wrestle with notions that I'm might be clinging just a little too tightly to, inspite of the Holy Spirit's urging to loose my grip. I don't have to put myself out there.

But, like a singer who refuses to sing because of fear of deaf ears, or a painter not painting for fear of a blind audience, without application I'll never know what God could do through me. No matter the audience, I have to trust that God will hone my gift in a manner that brings Him the most glory. After all, that is why we are each individually gifted, right? You know that right? Our gifts are fitted perfectly for us so that, when in sweet surrender, we are able to bring God the most glory. There is nothing sweeter than being able to worship God through the gifts He's given you. Painters, pick up your brushes! Singers, cry out your melody! Preachers, preach the Good News! Warriors, lace up your boots! Farmers, hitch your plows! Doctors, don your scrubs! Pilots, soar to new heights! Brothers and Sisters in Christ, worship the Lord with all that you are because that is what you were designed for!

All that God wants is all of you, just how He made you. We are free to be who God made us. There are no rules that say we have to be like this or like that. Jesus has set us free to use our gifts to glorify Him without fear or half-heartedness. Giving of ourselves wholly, completely, and unabashedly to Him is our spiritual act of worship. That is authentic worship. If we as a body could learn how to do this, there's no telling what God could do through us. The thought of it is just too exciting!

I'm not talking about using our gifts to glorify us or bring fame and adulation to ourselves. I don't care if I make a penny through my writing or if anyone reads this blog. God will draw men to Himself when we lift His name up. We just need to be ready to use our gifts when God opens opportunity for us. We must remain sensitive to the Holy Spirit's prompting and ensure our talents don't gather dust from being stored upon the shelves of our lifes.

If you are shaking your head right now saying you don't have any gifts, you're doing yourself and God a disservice. Pray that the Holy Spirit would reveal your gift and give you courage to take up the art of worshipping your creator in and through the very manner He gave you to worship Him.

Cry out to God with all that you are by being all that He created you to be!!!

Wow, I didn't sit down expecting to write this blog at all. I was just going to complain about not knowing what I'm supposed to do. Praise the Lord for His inspiration! My the Peace of Christ and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit carry you today! God bless you all.