Here's a quote for the Max Lucado book "Fearless." I really, really need that book!
This speaks to my heart. I am totally afraid that I won't be able to handle what Storms may come with the Marine Corps. I am afraid and it's clouding my judgment about the reality of the civilian side. I'm not saying it's bad out there, but it's not perfect either and it's not the key to happiness. My attitude and demeanor are. Read this quote from C.S. Lewis.
"Faith...is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods. For moods will change, whatever view your reason takes. I know that by experience. Now that I am a Christian I do have moods in which the whole thing looks very improbable: but when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable...That is why Faith is such a necessary virtue: unless you teach your moods "where they get off," you can never be either a sound Christian or even a sound atheist, but just a creature dithering to and fro, with its beliefs really dependent on the weather and the state of its digestion."
That is so me. I need to make a decision. The decision is not whether or not to stay in the Marine Corps. It is to stop being afraid of what might or might not happen, and trust in Jesus to be there, through the storms. "He who tries to save his life will lose it, but he who loses his life for My sake will find it." Matt 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, John 12:25
I think by trying to get out of the Marine Corps, in my mind, I'm scheming for a way to "save" my life and avoid what I see as unnecessary burdens that detract from what I want and (think that) I need. But, what do I know? God is the only one who knows what "burdens" are necessary to make me the man He wants me to be and the man that my family needs me to be. I can't let fear be the cornerstone in my decision making process. Whether it be fear of failure, burden, or even fear of death. I have to trust that God is in control ultimately and that every storm that I encounter, even the one that will eventually result in my death (even if that "storm" is dying of old age in a nursing home surrounded by my loved ones) is at His command and not simply something I could have avoided if I'd listened to my fear.
Fear is smart. It is conniving. It knows just how to formulate an argument that sounds like the right think to do. It might even appear like godly advice. But, if at the root of the argument, my eyes are on me and not Christ, then the argument holds no water. That is how you can tell if your "advice" is coming from fear of the Holy Spirit. I need to just ask myself, "Who am I concerned about when making this plan? Me or Christ?"
That is a tough question to ask myself. Because, even now, fear is screaming, "Think
of yourself. There's no telling where God will take you if you completely
surrender to Him. God wants you to worry about taking care of yourself and
not do anything that sounds uncomfortable."
Wow! Fear's voice sounds a lot like mine in my head and is disguised as truth, but is actually dripping with selfishness, influenced heavily by modern culture that says, "I before everything."
Even after typing all of this out, I'm still scared to commit. I can't see into the future and I don't want to close any doors that offer possible retreat if it gets too hot. I'm lukewarm, afraid of making a decision in either direction. Unfortunately for me, a lukewarm person is the one thing God chooses to "spit out of His mouth in disgust."
So, conclusion? I'm basing my desire to get out of the Marine Corps on fear and disdain for the unnecessary burdens; basically with "me" in mind. Based on the above dissertation, I'd have to say I need to chose the Marine Corps and trust that Christ is in control and that if He wants me to get out, then He can get me out. I need to worry about controlling my attitude because that is the only thing in this life I can control.
Thanks for listening.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Today's Post
Philippians 3:8-10
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider these rubbish, that I might gain Christ and be found in Him...I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."
I realized that, as I read these verses last night, I can't say that I agree wholeheartedly with Paul. I wish that I could. I desperately want to be able to say that I consider all the worldly possessions and endeavors that I find myself pursuing to be worthless. I wish that I found more enjoyment out of reading the bible and memorizing scripture than I do playing video games and watching TV. I wish that when I was frustrated or upset I wanted to run to the bible and prayer rather than go buy something. But, if we're being honest here, I can't say that. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't understand the magnitude of what Jesus did when He died on that cross and then was resurrected. Maybe I just don't realize how intimately He wants to be involved in my life and how much He wants to show me if only I'd spend my time watching for Him and in fellowship with Him. Maybe I don't have enough faith. After all, whoever wants to please God must have faith, believing that when they come to Him, He hears and answers their prayers.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I think I was just stunned by what I didn't know about myself. I mean, there are things that I think are true about me. I have heard this verse before and assumed I believed it. But, after some introspection, I realized that I didn't take it too heart like I should. This is a pretty serious passage with some huge implications. I mean, think about it. Everything we acquire and accomplish is meaningless compared to what we're missing out on if we're not doing it in and through our relationship with Christ. Basically, if it meant that quitting my job, selling everything I own, and becoming a nomadic wanderer was the only way to get closer to Christ, then that's what I'd do. I think Paul meant it that way. Luckily, God doesn't call us to be destitute. He calls us to seek Him above anything else and let Him take care of all the things we so desperately crave.
This passage makes me wonder what else I'm getting wrong. My prayer is that you too would take some time and do some soul searching as you read through the scripture, just to make sure you actually do believe what you profess. If you're as surprised by what you find as I was, then stop right there and pray that the Holy Spirit would show you what you need to do about it.
God bless you all!
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider these rubbish, that I might gain Christ and be found in Him...I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."
I realized that, as I read these verses last night, I can't say that I agree wholeheartedly with Paul. I wish that I could. I desperately want to be able to say that I consider all the worldly possessions and endeavors that I find myself pursuing to be worthless. I wish that I found more enjoyment out of reading the bible and memorizing scripture than I do playing video games and watching TV. I wish that when I was frustrated or upset I wanted to run to the bible and prayer rather than go buy something. But, if we're being honest here, I can't say that. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't understand the magnitude of what Jesus did when He died on that cross and then was resurrected. Maybe I just don't realize how intimately He wants to be involved in my life and how much He wants to show me if only I'd spend my time watching for Him and in fellowship with Him. Maybe I don't have enough faith. After all, whoever wants to please God must have faith, believing that when they come to Him, He hears and answers their prayers.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I think I was just stunned by what I didn't know about myself. I mean, there are things that I think are true about me. I have heard this verse before and assumed I believed it. But, after some introspection, I realized that I didn't take it too heart like I should. This is a pretty serious passage with some huge implications. I mean, think about it. Everything we acquire and accomplish is meaningless compared to what we're missing out on if we're not doing it in and through our relationship with Christ. Basically, if it meant that quitting my job, selling everything I own, and becoming a nomadic wanderer was the only way to get closer to Christ, then that's what I'd do. I think Paul meant it that way. Luckily, God doesn't call us to be destitute. He calls us to seek Him above anything else and let Him take care of all the things we so desperately crave.
This passage makes me wonder what else I'm getting wrong. My prayer is that you too would take some time and do some soul searching as you read through the scripture, just to make sure you actually do believe what you profess. If you're as surprised by what you find as I was, then stop right there and pray that the Holy Spirit would show you what you need to do about it.
God bless you all!
Friday, July 17, 2009
This is a poem that the Holy Spirit laid on my heart this morning. I just started typing and in about 15 minutes, there it was. Amazing that He would inspire me like that.
There’s a baby with a heartbeat
There’s a little life inside
It’s not a political agenda
It’s not about women’s rights
Not an accident; no mistake
Not a horrid source of shame
It’s a miracle and a blessing
The greatest gift you can claim
Look at the picture on that black and white display
Listen to the heart beat, the rhythm that it makes
How can you deny that the baby is alive?
Is it just because you can’t hear it cry?
Or is it because you have no room in your life?
Are you too afraid to try?
Does it ease your guilt to say it’s not alive?
Does it make it easier to go to sleep at night?
Do you ever catch yourself wondering if she’d have your eyes?
Or if he’d have his father’s laugh, maybe your mother’s smile?
Does the echo from the empty womb haunt you now and then?
Reminding you of how ultimately selfish that you’d been.
You let society convince you that you could have it all.
And that this little nuisance would only cause you to fall
You lived your life for pleasure, aware of the risks,
And now you act as though you didn’t ask for this.
Slept around as if love was something you could earn
Now you’re with child and that guy is long since gone
You don’t need this, or want this, and so the lie is spun.
You’ve got too much ahead of you to have a daughter or son.
The feminist will tell you it’s a pest, a parasite
Until it’s born into this world, it’s not really alive
But the voice of the one who formed the child inside of you
Is crying out to hold on and listen to the truth
‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew your name.
Before you were born my plans for you had all been laid.”
So calm your heart and hear my still small voice
It’s not late to turn around and make a different choice.
Remember, you’re only here today because your mom’s faith
Gave her the courage to make the choice you’re too afraid to make.
There’s a baby with a heartbeat
There’s a little life inside
It’s not a political agenda
It’s not about women’s rights
Not an accident; no mistake
Not a horrid source of shame
It’s a miracle and a blessing
The greatest gift you can claim
Look at the picture on that black and white display
Listen to the heart beat, the rhythm that it makes
How can you deny that the baby is alive?
Is it just because you can’t hear it cry?
Or is it because you have no room in your life?
Are you too afraid to try?
Does it ease your guilt to say it’s not alive?
Does it make it easier to go to sleep at night?
Do you ever catch yourself wondering if she’d have your eyes?
Or if he’d have his father’s laugh, maybe your mother’s smile?
Does the echo from the empty womb haunt you now and then?
Reminding you of how ultimately selfish that you’d been.
You let society convince you that you could have it all.
And that this little nuisance would only cause you to fall
You lived your life for pleasure, aware of the risks,
And now you act as though you didn’t ask for this.
Slept around as if love was something you could earn
Now you’re with child and that guy is long since gone
You don’t need this, or want this, and so the lie is spun.
You’ve got too much ahead of you to have a daughter or son.
The feminist will tell you it’s a pest, a parasite
Until it’s born into this world, it’s not really alive
But the voice of the one who formed the child inside of you
Is crying out to hold on and listen to the truth
‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew your name.
Before you were born my plans for you had all been laid.”
So calm your heart and hear my still small voice
It’s not late to turn around and make a different choice.
Remember, you’re only here today because your mom’s faith
Gave her the courage to make the choice you’re too afraid to make.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thoughts on worship
So, I know it's been a long time since I blogged. I just haven't made the time. I could sit here and type out a bunch of excuses about how busy I've been with work, travel, or the kids, but that'd be a lie. The truth is, I haven't made the time. Instead of devoting myself to honing my God-given talent, I have devoted myself to my own entertainment. I spend my evenings watching TV shows that I really don't like and that don't offer any edification to me and my soul. The only saving grace is that I'm usually cuddled up next to Sarah on the couch while watching the brain-melting shows. On the weekends when the family is napping, I play video games instead of letting lose the thoughts swirling around in my head and nawing away at my heart.
I think this is because it is easier to just sit and be entertained. It doesn't take energy and it doesn't take submission to the Holy Spirit. There's no gamble in playing video games, other than my bruised ego when the computer cheats--which it often does--and beats me. But, I don't have to worry about hurting feelings or writing something that doesn't stir up the same emotions in the hearts of those that journey into the recesses of my mind. I don't have wrestle with notions that I'm might be clinging just a little too tightly to, inspite of the Holy Spirit's urging to loose my grip. I don't have to put myself out there.
But, like a singer who refuses to sing because of fear of deaf ears, or a painter not painting for fear of a blind audience, without application I'll never know what God could do through me. No matter the audience, I have to trust that God will hone my gift in a manner that brings Him the most glory. After all, that is why we are each individually gifted, right? You know that right? Our gifts are fitted perfectly for us so that, when in sweet surrender, we are able to bring God the most glory. There is nothing sweeter than being able to worship God through the gifts He's given you. Painters, pick up your brushes! Singers, cry out your melody! Preachers, preach the Good News! Warriors, lace up your boots! Farmers, hitch your plows! Doctors, don your scrubs! Pilots, soar to new heights! Brothers and Sisters in Christ, worship the Lord with all that you are because that is what you were designed for!
All that God wants is all of you, just how He made you. We are free to be who God made us. There are no rules that say we have to be like this or like that. Jesus has set us free to use our gifts to glorify Him without fear or half-heartedness. Giving of ourselves wholly, completely, and unabashedly to Him is our spiritual act of worship. That is authentic worship. If we as a body could learn how to do this, there's no telling what God could do through us. The thought of it is just too exciting!
I'm not talking about using our gifts to glorify us or bring fame and adulation to ourselves. I don't care if I make a penny through my writing or if anyone reads this blog. God will draw men to Himself when we lift His name up. We just need to be ready to use our gifts when God opens opportunity for us. We must remain sensitive to the Holy Spirit's prompting and ensure our talents don't gather dust from being stored upon the shelves of our lifes.
If you are shaking your head right now saying you don't have any gifts, you're doing yourself and God a disservice. Pray that the Holy Spirit would reveal your gift and give you courage to take up the art of worshipping your creator in and through the very manner He gave you to worship Him.
Cry out to God with all that you are by being all that He created you to be!!!
Wow, I didn't sit down expecting to write this blog at all. I was just going to complain about not knowing what I'm supposed to do. Praise the Lord for His inspiration! My the Peace of Christ and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit carry you today! God bless you all.
I think this is because it is easier to just sit and be entertained. It doesn't take energy and it doesn't take submission to the Holy Spirit. There's no gamble in playing video games, other than my bruised ego when the computer cheats--which it often does--and beats me. But, I don't have to worry about hurting feelings or writing something that doesn't stir up the same emotions in the hearts of those that journey into the recesses of my mind. I don't have wrestle with notions that I'm might be clinging just a little too tightly to, inspite of the Holy Spirit's urging to loose my grip. I don't have to put myself out there.
But, like a singer who refuses to sing because of fear of deaf ears, or a painter not painting for fear of a blind audience, without application I'll never know what God could do through me. No matter the audience, I have to trust that God will hone my gift in a manner that brings Him the most glory. After all, that is why we are each individually gifted, right? You know that right? Our gifts are fitted perfectly for us so that, when in sweet surrender, we are able to bring God the most glory. There is nothing sweeter than being able to worship God through the gifts He's given you. Painters, pick up your brushes! Singers, cry out your melody! Preachers, preach the Good News! Warriors, lace up your boots! Farmers, hitch your plows! Doctors, don your scrubs! Pilots, soar to new heights! Brothers and Sisters in Christ, worship the Lord with all that you are because that is what you were designed for!
All that God wants is all of you, just how He made you. We are free to be who God made us. There are no rules that say we have to be like this or like that. Jesus has set us free to use our gifts to glorify Him without fear or half-heartedness. Giving of ourselves wholly, completely, and unabashedly to Him is our spiritual act of worship. That is authentic worship. If we as a body could learn how to do this, there's no telling what God could do through us. The thought of it is just too exciting!
I'm not talking about using our gifts to glorify us or bring fame and adulation to ourselves. I don't care if I make a penny through my writing or if anyone reads this blog. God will draw men to Himself when we lift His name up. We just need to be ready to use our gifts when God opens opportunity for us. We must remain sensitive to the Holy Spirit's prompting and ensure our talents don't gather dust from being stored upon the shelves of our lifes.
If you are shaking your head right now saying you don't have any gifts, you're doing yourself and God a disservice. Pray that the Holy Spirit would reveal your gift and give you courage to take up the art of worshipping your creator in and through the very manner He gave you to worship Him.
Cry out to God with all that you are by being all that He created you to be!!!
Wow, I didn't sit down expecting to write this blog at all. I was just going to complain about not knowing what I'm supposed to do. Praise the Lord for His inspiration! My the Peace of Christ and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit carry you today! God bless you all.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Questions on 1 John 1 & 2
This blog is going to be a little different. Unlike previous blogs where I pontificate about my thoughts on Jesus and life application, on this blog, I will just basically transpose my notes from Monday night's quite time. I will ask more questions that I have answers for and I will leave them to you to provide your thoughts on. So, at the very least, it might be shorter. Here goes.
The Message (That's what I entitled it.)
-God is light! In Him there is no darkness!
-What darkness? Sin? Confusion? Despair? Shame? Guild? Hopelessness? Lies? Hate?
-What is light? Knowledge? Truth? Hope? Joy? Peace? Pretty much the opposite of darkness?
"If we say we have fellowship with Him (God), and walk in darkness, we Lie and don't practice the truth. But, if we walk in the Light, as He (God) is in the light, we have Fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin."
-Is this referring to us and God, or us and fellow believers?
-So does this mean that if we aren't walking in the light, then we can't be in fellowship with God or eachother, and therefore, aren't under the cleansing power of Jesus' blood?
"Now by this we know that we know Him (God), if we keep His commandments (Love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, and strength; Love your neighbor as yourself. Right?)."
"He (me) who says, "I know Him (God)," and does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth (Light?) is not in him (me). But whoever keeps His word (commandments??), truly the love of God is perfected in him (me). By this we know that we are in Him (God).""
-What does that mean "love of God is perfected?" Isn't God's love already perfect in Himself?
-This is speaking of confidence and assurance in our relationship with God by keeping His commandments.
"He (me) who says he (me) abides (what does this mean?) in Him (God) ought himself (me) also to walk just as Jesus walked.
-What is the action there?
-Is that more "Christian" speak?
-Does this refer back to "abide"?
"He (me) who says he (me) is in the light (there's that word again), and hates his brother, is in darkness until now?
-What's the litmus test for deciding what "hate" is? Is it subjective?
-Who is my brother? Fellow Christian? Jesus? All human-kind?
-Until now???
"He (me) who loves his (me) brother abides (there's that word again) in the light (truth), and there is no cause for stumbling in him."
-Does this mean that if we love our brother and live in fellowship with our brother (again, who is our brother) that we won't sin? Is it a cause and effect thing?
"But he (me) who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."
-Whoa! Lots of reference to darkness, hate, and brother.
I need help defining:
-Darkness
-Light
-Love
-Hate
-Abide
-Brother
-Walk
So, anyway, that was my quite time. I still don't have answers. But, I'll keep staring at it until some form of wisdom overcomes me. Take care!
The Message (That's what I entitled it.)
-God is light! In Him there is no darkness!
-What darkness? Sin? Confusion? Despair? Shame? Guild? Hopelessness? Lies? Hate?
-What is light? Knowledge? Truth? Hope? Joy? Peace? Pretty much the opposite of darkness?
"If we say we have fellowship with Him (God), and walk in darkness, we Lie and don't practice the truth. But, if we walk in the Light, as He (God) is in the light, we have Fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin."
-Is this referring to us and God, or us and fellow believers?
-So does this mean that if we aren't walking in the light, then we can't be in fellowship with God or eachother, and therefore, aren't under the cleansing power of Jesus' blood?
"Now by this we know that we know Him (God), if we keep His commandments (Love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, and strength; Love your neighbor as yourself. Right?)."
"He (me) who says, "I know Him (God)," and does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth (Light?) is not in him (me). But whoever keeps His word (commandments??), truly the love of God is perfected in him (me). By this we know that we are in Him (God).""
-What does that mean "love of God is perfected?" Isn't God's love already perfect in Himself?
-This is speaking of confidence and assurance in our relationship with God by keeping His commandments.
"He (me) who says he (me) abides (what does this mean?) in Him (God) ought himself (me) also to walk just as Jesus walked.
-What is the action there?
-Is that more "Christian" speak?
-Does this refer back to "abide"?
"He (me) who says he (me) is in the light (there's that word again), and hates his brother, is in darkness until now?
-What's the litmus test for deciding what "hate" is? Is it subjective?
-Who is my brother? Fellow Christian? Jesus? All human-kind?
-Until now???
"He (me) who loves his (me) brother abides (there's that word again) in the light (truth), and there is no cause for stumbling in him."
-Does this mean that if we love our brother and live in fellowship with our brother (again, who is our brother) that we won't sin? Is it a cause and effect thing?
"But he (me) who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."
-Whoa! Lots of reference to darkness, hate, and brother.
I need help defining:
-Darkness
-Light
-Love
-Hate
-Abide
-Brother
-Walk
So, anyway, that was my quite time. I still don't have answers. But, I'll keep staring at it until some form of wisdom overcomes me. Take care!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Catching up
So, for those of you who actually read this blog, you might notice that it's been a while since my last post. The reason is simple. It isn't that I don't care anymore or that I don't enjoy writing. The fact of the matter is that Sarah moved the computer into the front office and I am never in the front office. So, the computer is out of sight. Naturally, that makes it out of mind. I can't get the blog at work now either. I guess the man is on to me!
Well, a lot has happened around me in that past month. I can't say that it has happened to me, as nothing really is going on with me. There has been a lot of shake up around me though. My wife is pregnant with our third child. This is even more significant than normal because it is our post-vasectomy reversal baby. Yea, not once, but twice did I prove my devotion to myself. Don't worry, though. I'm not devoted enough for to go for the hat trick.
Also, Capt America and his wife found out they were expecting their first child. Good for them! Then, Capt America's travel agent got it all screwed up. She got confused and sent him to Afghanistan instead of Acapulco. Oh well, honest mistake. It's only for a few months, so I'm sure he'll get over it. Mrs. Capt America, on the other hand, might not. My son turned 3 on Easter. That will make you feel old when your second child hits the big 3. Even worse is when you find yourself actually chanting in a restaurant, "You went big boy potty! You went big boy potty!" Yea, as disturbing in real life as it is in your head.
So that's what has happened around me. Not much to me. Still plugging away at the new job and trying to accept my inevitable career in the Marine Corps.
I picked up my guitar today and started fiddling with a new song. I found a cool tune and started mumbling whatever words came to mind, if any. That's kind of how I do it. I find a cool rhythm and just hum along until some words come to mind. I keep playing until the words form a song and I have to stop and write them down before they escape me. Well, tonight, not much came in the form a verse, but a chorus kind of settled in. It went like this:
Wait.
Just wait.
Hold onto the faith I've given to you.
Wait.
Just wait.
Hold on My hand; I'll carry you through
Wait.
I don't know if anything will come of it, but I sure felt a peace after playing for a little while. Peace knowing that God can and will come through in whatever it is than I'm fearing He won't. We just have to wait. Not a faithless, hopeless, pessimistic waiting. No, that would be no good. We need to wait expectantly, knowing that God is bound by nothing, and nothing will keep Him for unfolding His plan for those who wait eagerly for Him.
"Be still and know that I am God."
"Cease your striving and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10
Well, a lot has happened around me in that past month. I can't say that it has happened to me, as nothing really is going on with me. There has been a lot of shake up around me though. My wife is pregnant with our third child. This is even more significant than normal because it is our post-vasectomy reversal baby. Yea, not once, but twice did I prove my devotion to myself. Don't worry, though. I'm not devoted enough for to go for the hat trick.
Also, Capt America and his wife found out they were expecting their first child. Good for them! Then, Capt America's travel agent got it all screwed up. She got confused and sent him to Afghanistan instead of Acapulco. Oh well, honest mistake. It's only for a few months, so I'm sure he'll get over it. Mrs. Capt America, on the other hand, might not. My son turned 3 on Easter. That will make you feel old when your second child hits the big 3. Even worse is when you find yourself actually chanting in a restaurant, "You went big boy potty! You went big boy potty!" Yea, as disturbing in real life as it is in your head.
So that's what has happened around me. Not much to me. Still plugging away at the new job and trying to accept my inevitable career in the Marine Corps.
I picked up my guitar today and started fiddling with a new song. I found a cool tune and started mumbling whatever words came to mind, if any. That's kind of how I do it. I find a cool rhythm and just hum along until some words come to mind. I keep playing until the words form a song and I have to stop and write them down before they escape me. Well, tonight, not much came in the form a verse, but a chorus kind of settled in. It went like this:
Wait.
Just wait.
Hold onto the faith I've given to you.
Wait.
Just wait.
Hold on My hand; I'll carry you through
Wait.
I don't know if anything will come of it, but I sure felt a peace after playing for a little while. Peace knowing that God can and will come through in whatever it is than I'm fearing He won't. We just have to wait. Not a faithless, hopeless, pessimistic waiting. No, that would be no good. We need to wait expectantly, knowing that God is bound by nothing, and nothing will keep Him for unfolding His plan for those who wait eagerly for Him.
"Be still and know that I am God."
"Cease your striving and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Conduit? But I don't know if I "con-do-it!"
So I was thinking to myself the last few days. I said, "Self, how do you think we're supposed to reach the world for Christ?" My self didn't have a response. Go figure! So, without an answer to cling too, I began to ponder this more and more.
If you've sat in a Baptist church in the past, oh I don't know, 40 years, you've probably heard the term "witness." To those who know, we recognize that this term means to "tell people about Jesus." After all, that makes sense, right? We should be telling people about Christ. We should be telling them how awesome He is and how much He's done for us in our lives. We should also tell them that without Him, they can't get to God. We should tell them how He loves them and died for their sin as well so that, if they'd just turn to Him, He'd forgive them and offer them a place in His kingdom. We should tell them that that void they're trying to fill can never be filled up by what they're trying to fill it with. It can only be filled by allowing Jesus to fill it up with Himself. We should be telling people about all of this. But...
I haven't found that many opportunities to do that lately. I find myself feeling more like I'm selling a product rather than talking about this personal Savior that I know and interact with constantly. Plus, I'm a little afraid of confrontation. It seems a lot of people aren't looking to be enlightened. They're looking for a fight, in which they can prove themselves right and all "Christians" wrong. So I started thinking, "Why do people want so badly to argue with us and reject the idea of learning about Christ?" Why are they so angry at us? Here's what I came up with. While sharing the Gospel is one of our chief directives, I believe the first and foremost is to be a conduit for Jesus to share His love with people.
People who don't know Jesus can easily deny His existence, thereby dismissing any "logic" we might be able to share with them. But, they can't deny our existence. They can see, hear, touch, and interact with us. So, we are the closest thing to Jesus they're going to see here on Earth. Therefore, we must be His conduit to them. We must position ourselves in a place where they can experience the love of Christ flowing through us. If we're too busy judging them by making assumptions about what they think, feel, believe, or where they've come from and where they're going, we lose the ability to truly connect with them and lay the foundation through which we can convey Christ's love to them.
By accepting them as they are, just like Christ accepted us, and showing them love and serving them, we begin to build trust. They see that we really do care about them and we're not just trying to make a sale. If you look through the Gospels, I think you'll find that Jesus was always patient, compassionate, and a loving servant to the lost. It was the supposed "religious experts" that He was hard on. These were the ones who didn't get it.
So what am I saying? I don't know. Maybe I'm just rambling. I just know how I treat telemarketers. I know exactly who's on the phone when I answer a call from an unknown caller and hear that pause and someone comes on the line and asks for a "Mr. H-A-G-A-R." It's a dead giveaway that they don't know me and that they're just trying to sell me something. I instantly tune them out and look for my first opportunity to cut them off, tell them to leave me alone, and hang up on them. (I know, not the best way to be a conduit, but I'm trying.) Don't you think it's the same for the lost people who maybe haven't been brought to that broken place in their lives yet where they are searching for God. Suddenly some stranger walks up to a person and hands him or her a track on the dangers of drug use and that turning to God is the only way to break the habit. What would you think if you were that person? I know what my friend thought when it happened to him. He was offended. First of all, because he knows the Lord; second of all, he doesn't use drugs and has family issues due to drug and alcohol use. The message was not received.
Don't we do that all the time? We make assumptions about people and their status before we even take the time to get to know them. To be a conduit, we need to reach out to them first, regardless of our initial impression (unless the initial impression is that they want to cause you harm. Use your best judgment should that happen.), and try to see how God is working on them and how we can best meet their needs, whatever that might be. I'm not saying that we need to participate in their lifestyles if they are obviously doing things that are in direct contrast to how the Word says we should be living. But, we can find a safe ground to love them on, so that we meet them where they are at and minister to them without falling into temptation ourselves.
Ok, this is really getting out of hand. So, I'll just leave you with this. How are you going to convince someone that Jesus is real and worth serious consideration if that person doesn't trust you and hasn't witnessed any of this love you're telling them that Jesus has for them? God bless you as you try and understand how God would have you interact with those whom He's put in your path. They might be closer than you think.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
If you've sat in a Baptist church in the past, oh I don't know, 40 years, you've probably heard the term "witness." To those who know, we recognize that this term means to "tell people about Jesus." After all, that makes sense, right? We should be telling people about Christ. We should be telling them how awesome He is and how much He's done for us in our lives. We should also tell them that without Him, they can't get to God. We should tell them how He loves them and died for their sin as well so that, if they'd just turn to Him, He'd forgive them and offer them a place in His kingdom. We should tell them that that void they're trying to fill can never be filled up by what they're trying to fill it with. It can only be filled by allowing Jesus to fill it up with Himself. We should be telling people about all of this. But...
I haven't found that many opportunities to do that lately. I find myself feeling more like I'm selling a product rather than talking about this personal Savior that I know and interact with constantly. Plus, I'm a little afraid of confrontation. It seems a lot of people aren't looking to be enlightened. They're looking for a fight, in which they can prove themselves right and all "Christians" wrong. So I started thinking, "Why do people want so badly to argue with us and reject the idea of learning about Christ?" Why are they so angry at us? Here's what I came up with. While sharing the Gospel is one of our chief directives, I believe the first and foremost is to be a conduit for Jesus to share His love with people.
People who don't know Jesus can easily deny His existence, thereby dismissing any "logic" we might be able to share with them. But, they can't deny our existence. They can see, hear, touch, and interact with us. So, we are the closest thing to Jesus they're going to see here on Earth. Therefore, we must be His conduit to them. We must position ourselves in a place where they can experience the love of Christ flowing through us. If we're too busy judging them by making assumptions about what they think, feel, believe, or where they've come from and where they're going, we lose the ability to truly connect with them and lay the foundation through which we can convey Christ's love to them.
By accepting them as they are, just like Christ accepted us, and showing them love and serving them, we begin to build trust. They see that we really do care about them and we're not just trying to make a sale. If you look through the Gospels, I think you'll find that Jesus was always patient, compassionate, and a loving servant to the lost. It was the supposed "religious experts" that He was hard on. These were the ones who didn't get it.
So what am I saying? I don't know. Maybe I'm just rambling. I just know how I treat telemarketers. I know exactly who's on the phone when I answer a call from an unknown caller and hear that pause and someone comes on the line and asks for a "Mr. H-A-G-A-R." It's a dead giveaway that they don't know me and that they're just trying to sell me something. I instantly tune them out and look for my first opportunity to cut them off, tell them to leave me alone, and hang up on them. (I know, not the best way to be a conduit, but I'm trying.) Don't you think it's the same for the lost people who maybe haven't been brought to that broken place in their lives yet where they are searching for God. Suddenly some stranger walks up to a person and hands him or her a track on the dangers of drug use and that turning to God is the only way to break the habit. What would you think if you were that person? I know what my friend thought when it happened to him. He was offended. First of all, because he knows the Lord; second of all, he doesn't use drugs and has family issues due to drug and alcohol use. The message was not received.
Don't we do that all the time? We make assumptions about people and their status before we even take the time to get to know them. To be a conduit, we need to reach out to them first, regardless of our initial impression (unless the initial impression is that they want to cause you harm. Use your best judgment should that happen.), and try to see how God is working on them and how we can best meet their needs, whatever that might be. I'm not saying that we need to participate in their lifestyles if they are obviously doing things that are in direct contrast to how the Word says we should be living. But, we can find a safe ground to love them on, so that we meet them where they are at and minister to them without falling into temptation ourselves.
Ok, this is really getting out of hand. So, I'll just leave you with this. How are you going to convince someone that Jesus is real and worth serious consideration if that person doesn't trust you and hasn't witnessed any of this love you're telling them that Jesus has for them? God bless you as you try and understand how God would have you interact with those whom He's put in your path. They might be closer than you think.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Fresh Eyes
So, I was out on my patio enjoying the wonderful evening, smoking a very nice cigar, courtesy of my father-in-law, and a drinking a really good beer (Brooklyn Lager...shout out to my friends from NY). It was really peaceful. So peaceful in fact that I had time to just sit and listen to the evening and watch my family through the sliding glass door, and just enjoy watching them without worry about a meeting or checking my blackberry. It was nice and a little overdue if you know what I mean. I started praying for my brother Goldie and my close-as-brothers Deerhunter and MochaBear. (In case you haven't realized, I've changed the names of the innocent to protect their identities.) I was really praying for them because they're all deployed right now, two on ships, and one in Iraq. I was praying obviously for their safety, but more importantly that they'd know that their families miss them. We all have two kids each, all between the ages of 5 and 2 weeks. And we all are in desperate love with our families. I pray for them as often as I can. I can empathize with them because I was once in their shoes. So I know how hard it is to watch your kids grow up in pictures, especially when you live to interact with them, to hold them, and love on them. So, if you have a moment in your day not filled with chaos, please stop and pray for them.
Anyway, so after I came back to earth, I saw my wife walking around, entertaining the kids and our guests, Mrs. Mochabear and her kids. And how much I loved her just hit me. I really saw her through fresh eyes. My wife is beautiful, charming, hilarious, caring, giving, full of infectious optimism, honest, loving, beautiful, intelligent, challenging, and my biggest fan. She truly is everything that I never knew I wanted, and all that God knew I needed. I was just overwhelmed with love and, more importantly, appreciation for her. I say appreciation is more important because, as most of you know, it is really easy to overlook all the things that our spouses do for us. I reflected on the past few weeks and God revealed to me many times when I got mad at her for no reason whatsoever. She does nothing all day long but consider other people, whether it be kids or me or her friends. Yet, I have the gall to become offended if, heaven forbid, she doesn't read my mind and know exactly what I need without me having to voice it. I felt really convicted for my quiet resentment and I prayed for forgiveness. I'll ask for her forgiveness later this evening.
That conviction really opened my eyes even more. I began to see myself through fresh eyes. I really came to see how truly selfish and self-absorbed I've been, pretty much for the past 10 years. (Give or take a few years.) I have been overly concerned with what God has in store for me and what it's going to cost me. I have tried like crazy to avoid inconvenience, to minimize commitment that costs too much, and to not get too over-involved in other people's issues. Whoa!!! And I'm supposed to be following Christ? So, again, I prayed for forgiveness and began to count my blessings, blessings that were bestowed on me, despite my narcissistic tendencies.
Wow! Think about that. In spite of all that bad that we do, or the good we don't do, God still reigns down His blessings. Heck, He even died for us when we were the worst possible versions of ourselves, lost and living in a destructive relationship with darkness. He reached out, grabbed up, dusted us off, cleaned us up, and took us in His arms, never to turn loose of us. Our only requirement is to love Him in return more than we love ourselves, believe in Him, and stay in His arms. Everything else, the loving others, sharing our faith, tithing, worshipping Him is simply an outpouring of that love for Him. If we aren't doing those things, that fruit, if you will, then we must ask ourselves, "Am I loving God more or me?" Falling in love with God is just like falling in love with my wife. It is a daily decision that I can totally screw up if I'm not careful to put her needs first. Same with God. If I don't daily make that commitment to love Him more, then I'll lapse back into my narcissism and my spiritual muscles atrophy. It's no different that my physical muscles atrophying from a lack of use. The same theory applies to marriage and loving God.
But, at the end of the day, just like the gym is still there waiting on me, and my wife is still there lying next to me just wanting to be loved and appreciated, God is waiting for me to hop back in His arms, snuggle up against His chest, and let Him take care of me. Isn't it just crazy! Wow! It just blows my mind.
When was the last time you looked at yourself through fresh eyes? What about your spouse? What about God? It is truly an "eye-opening" experience. (Pun totally intended.) If it's been a while, maybe you should consider trying. What have you go to lose?
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly...But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6, 8
Anyway, so after I came back to earth, I saw my wife walking around, entertaining the kids and our guests, Mrs. Mochabear and her kids. And how much I loved her just hit me. I really saw her through fresh eyes. My wife is beautiful, charming, hilarious, caring, giving, full of infectious optimism, honest, loving, beautiful, intelligent, challenging, and my biggest fan. She truly is everything that I never knew I wanted, and all that God knew I needed. I was just overwhelmed with love and, more importantly, appreciation for her. I say appreciation is more important because, as most of you know, it is really easy to overlook all the things that our spouses do for us. I reflected on the past few weeks and God revealed to me many times when I got mad at her for no reason whatsoever. She does nothing all day long but consider other people, whether it be kids or me or her friends. Yet, I have the gall to become offended if, heaven forbid, she doesn't read my mind and know exactly what I need without me having to voice it. I felt really convicted for my quiet resentment and I prayed for forgiveness. I'll ask for her forgiveness later this evening.
That conviction really opened my eyes even more. I began to see myself through fresh eyes. I really came to see how truly selfish and self-absorbed I've been, pretty much for the past 10 years. (Give or take a few years.) I have been overly concerned with what God has in store for me and what it's going to cost me. I have tried like crazy to avoid inconvenience, to minimize commitment that costs too much, and to not get too over-involved in other people's issues. Whoa!!! And I'm supposed to be following Christ? So, again, I prayed for forgiveness and began to count my blessings, blessings that were bestowed on me, despite my narcissistic tendencies.
Wow! Think about that. In spite of all that bad that we do, or the good we don't do, God still reigns down His blessings. Heck, He even died for us when we were the worst possible versions of ourselves, lost and living in a destructive relationship with darkness. He reached out, grabbed up, dusted us off, cleaned us up, and took us in His arms, never to turn loose of us. Our only requirement is to love Him in return more than we love ourselves, believe in Him, and stay in His arms. Everything else, the loving others, sharing our faith, tithing, worshipping Him is simply an outpouring of that love for Him. If we aren't doing those things, that fruit, if you will, then we must ask ourselves, "Am I loving God more or me?" Falling in love with God is just like falling in love with my wife. It is a daily decision that I can totally screw up if I'm not careful to put her needs first. Same with God. If I don't daily make that commitment to love Him more, then I'll lapse back into my narcissism and my spiritual muscles atrophy. It's no different that my physical muscles atrophying from a lack of use. The same theory applies to marriage and loving God.
But, at the end of the day, just like the gym is still there waiting on me, and my wife is still there lying next to me just wanting to be loved and appreciated, God is waiting for me to hop back in His arms, snuggle up against His chest, and let Him take care of me. Isn't it just crazy! Wow! It just blows my mind.
When was the last time you looked at yourself through fresh eyes? What about your spouse? What about God? It is truly an "eye-opening" experience. (Pun totally intended.) If it's been a while, maybe you should consider trying. What have you go to lose?
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly...But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6, 8
Friday, March 6, 2009
Yes, Jeremiah 29:11 again. (No comments from you Austin)
So, there I was re-reading my previous blogs when I discovered that I used the same verse two blogs in a row. Apparently, my editorial skills are not quite that sharp yet. Getting past my feelings of sheepishness, I began to analyze how that happened. You know, that verse is pretty pertinent for what I'm facing in a lot of areas of my life right now. Finances, career, parenting, you name it and I can find a way in which this verse brings inspiration. Let's take a look.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans for a hope and a future."
Just say that out loud a few times. Think about each phrase between the commas. Chew on those for a moment. This is really remarkable! This verse really speaks to me that no matter what it is I worry about--and I do worry more than I should--it is going to be ok. The situation might not be what I picture and when I picture it to be, but it is going to be perfect because it is meant for not only my good, but for my prosperity. That means the same for you. No matter what your facing, it is meant for your prosperity and it is personalized for you from God. They're God's plans. We don't have to come up with them on our own. We don't have to strategize. We just have to turn to God and ask Him to reveal them to us. There is no burden on us other than to trust the Lord. I often get bogged down, worrying about what the future holds and if I'll survive it. What a waste of energy! Jeremiah 29:11 promises that if I will get out of the way and let Him puts His plans in motion, not only will I be ok, but I'll prosper and have a future. Look out Joel Osteen!
But Garrett, what does that look like? How do I apply that? Oh what, you think just because I'm writing this blog that I have the answers? You'd think. Unfortunately, I don't. But, fret not. I do have something to share that might, at least, point you in the right direction.
I can't tell you what trusting God and letting Him institute His plans, because that is really between you and Him. But, I can tell you what God's been laying on my heart. I waste a lot of time and mental energy trying to solve the puzzle of my future. You know, I could be using that energy to mediate on Jesus' words, praying for other people in my life, and asking God to show me how I can just love people more. I think that last one is really the key and maybe the second to last one because of how it feeds into focusing on others. I really think there is something big disguised in that small package (focus Austin). What are we really here for? Yea, I know the Sunday School answers. But really think about it for a second.
Done? Here's what I think. It is truly to love God and love others. If we love God, we obey Him. He commands us to love others as yourself. So, by loving others, we love God. Loving others as yourself means exactly what it says. It can look like serving and demonstrating compassion toward them. It can also be seen in giving and maintaining relationships.
So, short story long. Don't waste your time worrying about what the future holds. Instead, spend that time asking God to show you how to love others, especially those whom you don't find it natural and easy to love. Then, you won't be getting in the way of the future plans.
God bless you. Hager out!
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans for a hope and a future."
Just say that out loud a few times. Think about each phrase between the commas. Chew on those for a moment. This is really remarkable! This verse really speaks to me that no matter what it is I worry about--and I do worry more than I should--it is going to be ok. The situation might not be what I picture and when I picture it to be, but it is going to be perfect because it is meant for not only my good, but for my prosperity. That means the same for you. No matter what your facing, it is meant for your prosperity and it is personalized for you from God. They're God's plans. We don't have to come up with them on our own. We don't have to strategize. We just have to turn to God and ask Him to reveal them to us. There is no burden on us other than to trust the Lord. I often get bogged down, worrying about what the future holds and if I'll survive it. What a waste of energy! Jeremiah 29:11 promises that if I will get out of the way and let Him puts His plans in motion, not only will I be ok, but I'll prosper and have a future. Look out Joel Osteen!
But Garrett, what does that look like? How do I apply that? Oh what, you think just because I'm writing this blog that I have the answers? You'd think. Unfortunately, I don't. But, fret not. I do have something to share that might, at least, point you in the right direction.
I can't tell you what trusting God and letting Him institute His plans, because that is really between you and Him. But, I can tell you what God's been laying on my heart. I waste a lot of time and mental energy trying to solve the puzzle of my future. You know, I could be using that energy to mediate on Jesus' words, praying for other people in my life, and asking God to show me how I can just love people more. I think that last one is really the key and maybe the second to last one because of how it feeds into focusing on others. I really think there is something big disguised in that small package (focus Austin). What are we really here for? Yea, I know the Sunday School answers. But really think about it for a second.
Done? Here's what I think. It is truly to love God and love others. If we love God, we obey Him. He commands us to love others as yourself. So, by loving others, we love God. Loving others as yourself means exactly what it says. It can look like serving and demonstrating compassion toward them. It can also be seen in giving and maintaining relationships.
So, short story long. Don't waste your time worrying about what the future holds. Instead, spend that time asking God to show you how to love others, especially those whom you don't find it natural and easy to love. Then, you won't be getting in the way of the future plans.
God bless you. Hager out!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Nothing to say
So, I'm sitting here staring at this computer screen because Austin has been giving me a hard time about not keeping up my blog. But what else is new. All he does is give me a hard time. So, why am I trying so hard to put keys to screen (the tech version of putting pen to paper)? I don't know. I feel like I should say something encouraging, something uplifting to inspire the two of you that read this blog. But, I really don't know what to say. I can't think of anything deep. I'm too busy being inundated with this shallow, superficial TV show called the Bachelor. This stupid show this is nothing more than an experiment in human depravity. How can anyone like this show? It's ridiculous! Only one couple has made it in over 10 seasons. How is that evidence that this show works. All it does is set people up to get hurt. Do they really expect a guy to fall in love with one girl when they throw 25 of them at him and take them on these unrealistic dates that would never happen in real life? Of course not! They are playing to the weakness of man. Sex. Sex doesn't equal love and rarely precedes love. They are also playing to the weakness of women by promising this fairy tale romance that is completely unrealistic. They use these people to boost ratings. But, the craziest part is that people keep subjecting themselves to this experience.
We poor lost people. So lost in the pursuit of that one thing, that one decision, that one opportunity that will magically make our lives perfect. That one "magic" pill doesn't exist. The fact of the matter is that we live in a fallen world full of heartache and pain and misery. There is only one fairy tale. It's the story of a creator that was so in love with His creation, that in the midst of their depravity, He shed His crown, stepped down from His throne, and became one of us. He lived a life that we are incapable of living and then let us crucify Him for the very sins we've committed. Then He rose again so that we could be reunited with Him in Heaven when our lives on this earth are over.
The hard part is having to endure this life. There are wonderful gifts and blessings that God gives us, but the perfect fairy tale romance is not one of them. It can never be because a relationship involves the union of two imperfect people. The problems arise when we start basing the correctness of our situation based on these false images of how life "should" be. Our hearts are deceitful and fickle and can't be trusted left to their own desires. Only God knows our hearts and knows who we really are. The trick is trusting Him to reveal the life He has for us in His time. Will you let me know when you figure out? Thanks. God bless you guys.
Now leave me alone Austin!
We poor lost people. So lost in the pursuit of that one thing, that one decision, that one opportunity that will magically make our lives perfect. That one "magic" pill doesn't exist. The fact of the matter is that we live in a fallen world full of heartache and pain and misery. There is only one fairy tale. It's the story of a creator that was so in love with His creation, that in the midst of their depravity, He shed His crown, stepped down from His throne, and became one of us. He lived a life that we are incapable of living and then let us crucify Him for the very sins we've committed. Then He rose again so that we could be reunited with Him in Heaven when our lives on this earth are over.
The hard part is having to endure this life. There are wonderful gifts and blessings that God gives us, but the perfect fairy tale romance is not one of them. It can never be because a relationship involves the union of two imperfect people. The problems arise when we start basing the correctness of our situation based on these false images of how life "should" be. Our hearts are deceitful and fickle and can't be trusted left to their own desires. Only God knows our hearts and knows who we really are. The trick is trusting Him to reveal the life He has for us in His time. Will you let me know when you figure out? Thanks. God bless you guys.
Now leave me alone Austin!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Mental Dominos...
So, you ever seen those professional domino builders? You know the ones that line up thousands of dominoes to see how many they can line up before they fall down and cause the "domino effect." The current world record is over 4,340,000! That's insane! It took approximately 90 builders 8 weeks of continuous building to create this monstrosity.
I realize this is an odd bit of trivia, but I think it's more relevant than it might first appear. I had a conversation with a friend this weekend, and as the conversation progressed, the Holy Spirit laid on me an epiphany. I work out my faith like a dedicated domino builder. Here's the back story.
So, we were talking. I was kind getting after this person because I feel like they've been post-poning a decision. They're really at a fork in their life, and they've been lingering there for a while. I get the fact that this person's torn between all that they have been taught and what they're experiencing in their life on a daily basis. It is tearing this person apart. I feel for this person. I really do!
So anyway, I listen to this person give me the litany of reasons why they don't want to remain and then the myriad of things that must fall into place BEFORE they will move. In fact, it will take these things being put in place in an observable way before they'd considered it a direction from God. It was at this point that the Holy Spirit laid on me the analogy of lining up "mental dominoes" before we're willing to follow God. This person is really hurting but can't make a decision because the dominoes aren't lining up! Does any of this sound familiar?
Well, enter epiphany stage right. As I'm laying out to this person how silly it is that this person's unwilling to follow God because they can't trust that God will provide for this person outside of these dominoes that this person's picked out, I'm totally convicted that that is exactly how I live my life.
These mental dominoes I'm talking about are the things that we think we need in our lives to survive. It can be things like a certain salary, location, job, standard of living, presence of a child...you get the picture. We think we have to have these dominoes in place before we'll step out an follow God. In fact, we're unwilling to accept a word from God without these visible things in place.
For me, it's whether or not to stay in the Marine Corps for a career or to get out. Well, when my wife and I talk about getting out, the conversation inevitably turns to where we have to live, how much I have to make, what kind of house we have to have, enough money to travel once a year, etc, so that we can maintain some arbitrary standard of living. These things have to be lined up before we'd be willing to believe that God is calling us there. Hello??? On the other hand, I act the same way toward staying in the Marine Corps. I act as if God should provide me an easy career that doesn't require a lot out of me. I want to know that I won't deploy or have a bad boss, yada yada yada. I don't see that I am limiting what I'm allowing God to do in my life because of my lack of faith. I'm not the only one that sees a problem with that logic, am I?
By focusing on these dominoes and waiting for them to be lined up before we step out in faith, we're totally dismissing the fact that God knows way better than we do about what we'll need to do His will. If you look in the bible, God calls people to follow Him long before he reveals where they'll go or what they'll be doing. He just says, "Go." It is our job to let Him be God and put the burden of providing for us on His shoulders. I can relate to the burden of provision when I think back to those conversations about getting out. After about 30 minutes of domino building, I'm so overwhelmed and discouraged, that getting out looks less and less like a viable option for our lives. So, I decide that it's impossible and I reluctantly resign to believing that our path is going through the Corps for a career. But my hearts longs for something more, although right now I'm not quite sure what that is. But I continue to short-changing God by losing hope that my dominoes will ever line up and give me a clear path out.
I don't think it works like that. We just need to be sensitive to the Spirit and be honestly and whole-heartedly willing to follow Him no matter where that takes us. Luckily for me, I'm not a crossroads yet. I'm just trying to anticipate the decision, which is a whole other blog entry. My friend, on the other hand, must make a decision now. I left them with the same advice I left for myself and that I'll leave for you now.
Sit in a quite place, put away the devotional and sermon notes, open the bible, and truly seek God. Ask Him to reveal to you any dominoes you might be holding onto, whether consciously or subconsciously. Then, ask Him for the strength to let them go. Then ask Him to help you put that trust back in Him. Remember Jeremiah 29:11. Claim that verse. I don't think God asks us to carry a burden that will make us miserable just to make us pious. Jesus loves us! He wants the best for us. But, He is the only one who knows what's best for us, and if we'll get out of the way, He'll show us. God bless you all and remember, life's about being loved by God and returning that love. Peace to you all.
"For I know that plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans for a hope and a future." Jer 29:11
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Seriously! 3 months since your last post? Seriously!
So, anyway, as you can see, I am not the best at keeping up my blog. But, just so you know NMCI did finally wise up and put this particular blog site on it's disallowed list. But, that probably only happened a month or so ago. If you can get past the anger and harbored resentment, then I think we can move on.
Well, what has happened since our last conversation? What hasn't happened?!?! We rearranged our house again. Yes we did! Hard as it is to believe, it was actually a mutual decision and one that should have been made a long time ago. This particular arrangement works the best of the previous 5 we've tried! I sold my black T-bird and bought a tank! Not a real tank, an '87 Jeep Grand Wagoneer Woody that is Aggie Maroon! My sister-in-law is so jealous that she's offered me a straight up title swap for her Trailblazer XL. I told her, "Hey, I might be Grand Wagoneer old, but I'm not even close to SUV-that-wants-to-be-a-minivan old!" (That's right!)
What else? Oh yeah, we put our house on the market as a short sale. Yea us! We had to list it for $100k less than we owe, so that is obviously going to be great for my credit, right? But, praise the Lord, we got an offer for more than our asking price after it being on the market a day. We've already submitted our short-sale request, so we'll see how it goes! I make light of this situation, but we did pray a lot about it. I was raised that you take responsibility for your actions, no matter the consequences and you stick it out. But, we really had a peace about this and really, it all miraculously fell in place in less than a week. So, we're just kind of along for the ride now as God carries us through the rest of the short-sale process. We move out into a rental house at the end of the month.
So, I'm applying for a new position in our organization at work. I just heard from the Colonel that I bombed my first interview, but that he's giving me a re-do. So, if you could remember me in your prayers at 0900 on Thursday, I'll be getting raked over the coals again.
Spiritually, I am on a quest to find out what real Christianity and faith and being in love with Jesus is all about. I've been told what it is about all my life, but I don't think I've ever searched on my own. I want to know the real Jesus and be in love with him, not a program, a service, a building or a published doctrine. I started reading a book called Blue Like Jazz. So far, it is right on the money for how I feel and is highly recommend by three dudes I respect a lot. Don't worry, I'm not going AWOL from my faith or church, I just want to get it right, you know. In fact, we've gone back to OBC. It is so refreshing to see so many people that we love and that love us, but that we haven't seen in seven months or so. We picked up right where we left off. In fact, it was the same time as the housing situation took place. So, I feel we're back where we need to be.
Ok, I think that summary about wraps it up. Cool ride. New house. Bad credit. Fresh faith. Am I forgetting anything? Oh yea...
Verse of the Day
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know that plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans for a hope and future."
Sarah read this to me throughout the week that the housing situation was going on. So, I think it's applicable for this entry for obvious reasons. No matter what my credit score is, what kind of ridiculous anti-stimulus package is passed, or where I work, God is real, concerned, and involved in my life and in yours. It doesn't matter what it looks like, God is in control. He is incapable of letting you (or me) down. It's not even an option. Seek Him, be blessed today, and be a blessing to someone else.
Hager out!
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