"Well, it could be worse..."

Today's Verse: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans for a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29-11

OK, so here I am, sitting at my keyboard, tying to think of all that I have to do today. As I go through the litany of tasks and emails of all the fires that I have to put out, my mind starts drifting to my wife and kids. I find myself wishing I were home instead of typing away on an email that I've already answered a dozen times, but the guy on the other end just came seem to get it. I think about how right now, the kids are in their room, standing like inmates up against the baby gate that keeps them corralled, yelling, "Mommy come get us!" Sydney is probably asking if she can climb over the gate as Sarah tries her hardest to pretend that it's just a dream so she can get just a few more minutes of sleep before the chaos of being a stay-at-home-Mom ensues. I find myself smiling, but at the same time realizing that I'm missing it. So, the smile fades and is replaced by a frown. Not a sad frown, but just a frown that makes me question why I'm where I'm at and if it is ever going to change. I'm suddenly aware of the twinge in my heart that reminds me that I'm not really where I want to be in life. And, here it comes, the same ol' argument between myself and myself. I think about how much I want to take my family and start over in a simpler place, closer to family, where I'm not judged by how fit I look, or how "hard" I am. [Don't argue with me Sarah, just keep reading. :)] Then I start to do the calculations about how possible and probable it is to do what I want to do, and how difficult it would be. I start thinking about if we could get out of this house we bought at the wrong time. I start thinking about what I want to do when I grow up, if it isn't what I'm doing now. I start thinking about if my family would truly be as happy as I think we all would be. Then, I start to panic that it might never happen. It might not be what God wants for me. Why wouldn't He want this for me? It's not like I'm asking to be the next President of the U.S., right? I'm just asking for permission to live a simple life on some family land. Why would God hold out on me? Doesn't He know that is what my heart desires? Of course He does. He put it there right? So, now that I'm really worked up, I start thinking about my bills and my car (that just keeps limping right along) and the church and the to do list again. Then, I snap out of my spiral as I realize how ridiculous I'm being, panicking over something I can't really do anything about right now because of current obligations. So, I say I'm sorry to God for not trusting Him and I thank him for my life (which I truly am thankful for), and then I say those five words. "Well, it could be worse..."

I hope you enjoyed my little tour of a day in my head. It's typical, but not constant. But, I do feel it's pretty accurate and reflective of how a lot of us pursue God and try to put things into perspective. I think that, even though our are intentions are good and that we truly are tying to discipline our minds and hearts to be content, we do a disservice to God and His sovereignty by saying that it could be worse. Here's how.

If you believe that God is sovereign and has a plan for each and every person and wants to prosper us and use us, then you can't believe it could be worse. With that phrase, we are telling our selves to quit complaining and worrying about our "bad" situation because it could always be "worse." This is usually followed by some mental image of a starving family in Africa or an oppressed underground Church in China. Right? Well, my question is this. How can something that is perfect, be worse? It can't! Let me explain.

If we are where God wants us, doing the thing that God wants us to do, and seeking to bring Him glory in all of our actions and relationships, then it has to be perfect. Just because it might not be what we think we want and where we want to be, it isn't anything less than perfection because God doesn't make mistakes. He doesn't wake up and think, "Oops, I forgot about Garrett. I hope he's ok." He knows everything and sees all and He has purposed for me to be here typing this blog at 0843 on Tuesday, Sept 23, 2008. So, because He has done it, it's perfect. So, if it's not bad, then it can't be worse. It can't be anything but different for each person who trusts in Him. So, let's not get caught in the trap of trying to find solace in thinking that we'd better shut up and be happy because God could always make it worse. No, that's not how He operates. Yes, He does discipline us to increase our faith. But, that doesn't make the situation bad. It makes it perfect because we are right where He wants us. Now I will caveat this thought with the fact that if you are acting in a way that is in direct opposition with the Holy Spirit and you are blatantly disobeying God/sinning with an unrepentant heart, then things are probably bad. Those bad things though, are still meant for your good. God allows them to happen to you to cause you to repent and turn back to him. So, even in our sin and disobedience, God is in control. So, I guess it is still His perfect will for you??? Huh? Things to ponder...(Wow! That just hit me!)

So, long story a little longer...I am going to continue to long to live that simple life on my land with my family doing something different professionally. But, I'm not going to let it get in the way of doing my best where I'm at. Because, doing my very best at what I'm doing now honors God. Pouting and wishing I were somewhere else and holding my breath until it turns blue, doesn't do anything but make is worse on us. Like any good parent, God is not swayed by a temper tantrum for a kid who really, really wants his way. I am going to continue to trust that what God has for me is the best for me and my family, whether it's what I think I want or not. God does want to prosper us. It's not a big trick we're He's waiting to pull the rug out from under our feet just when we get comfortable. He truly does love us and has the best in store for us. It just might be different from what we're thinkingl. Then again, it could be exactly what we're thinking, just not right now. You never know! Maybe...oh, wait, there's another email I have to answer...The cycle continues...